Some of us have this desire to develop and cling to the ‘nice guy’ image, to be good to all and so on. First of all, the very idea is flawed. I am beginning to see the truth of it of late. It is impossible to be nice to all. However you are, there will always be a set of people who talk nasty about you. So, trying to please everyone is really futile. It is better to be haughty than to ‘try’ to be meek.
I can talk with some amount of authority on this because I am a victim of this disease of pleasing everyone. Today I had to encounter one of my class mates who thinks himself intelligent (he’s an atheist, I think most of the atheists have this problem!!) in a verbal feud over some matter. I was dominated. These days I am dominated quite easily I thought. Then suddenly truth dawned upon me and I decided to document it. This was all the problem of ‘nice guy’ image I judged.
In his famous book, 7 habits of highly effective people, Stephen Covey has written quite well about this. He classifies the people of above image as lose/win people. To quote him” win/lose people love lose/win people because they can feed on them. They love their weaknesses- they take advantage of them. Such weakness compliments their strengths. But the problem is that lose/win people bury a lot of feelings and the unexpressed feelings never die: they’re buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways”
It is time to strip the image and come clean!!
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